Weekly update, monthly update – what’s the real difference? Hey, it’s Harry.
SEPTEMBER 5TH – SEPTEMBER 30TH
I’ve been pretty good recently. Last night, a guy in my history class invited me over to listen to the new Bladee album with him and his friend. When I met him over there, everyone in the house took their shirt off and started wrestling. I feel like I’m sheltered, in a sense. I’ve never woken up and gotten out of bed and started walking to the bathroom only to be ambushed by a sweaty dude. It was pretty funny though. What else have I been up to in the past few weeks? I had a work event at the landfill. It was a luncheon put on by the garbage hauling company that’s currently trying to get a contract with the city, and they spent almost all of time I was there trying to sell me on this fancy new recycling center.
“It’s going to be really cool. 50 million dollars put into it, and that’s just for now. There’s a video on YouTube where you can see the automatic trash-sorting machine in action. Check it out sometime.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I have no authority whatsoever.
Later, we got on a cargo van and took a guided tour of the dump. The guy next to me was a little too excited, and he kept making snide remarks about how I got the window seat and he was stuck in the middle. It eventually culminated in him reaching over me to take pictures of a tiny pile of trash. I didn’t say a word, both because I didn’t care and because I was scared to see what would happen if I got between him and his landfill documentation. Here’s the only picture I took:
Other than that, work has been pretty uneventful. A guy called in a few days ago to yell at me about a hole in a bridge. Imagine this dialogue at a screaming volume:
“There’s a hole in the damn bridge and I’m sick of it! I just bought a new $20,000 van and I drove it across the bridge and now my tire is messed up and I want to know what you’re gonna do about it! The bridge is flooding! Water is coming up over the bridge and there are copperheads swimming across it! I don’t give a fuck! Someone needs to do something!”
After approximately 11 minutes of this (not even exaggerating, I looked at the call log and it was about ten minutes and forty-five seconds of straight fury), I had to break the news that the snake-infested bridge was outside of city limits and there was nothing I could do about it. Sucks to suck, I guess.
I went to the OU football game with Milo last weekend. They took the victory, 59-52 over Fordham. Wait. Over who? That’s right, the Patriot League juggernaut Fordham Rams put up fifty-two points on the Bobcats. Rams wideout Fotis Kokosioulis finished the game with a measly, wait a second, 13 RECEPTIONS FOR 320 YARDS AND 4 TOUCHDOWNS?!?! Those are not normal numbers. Those are not even extraordinary numbers. That is a fucking otherworldly statline. Here’s some perspective for you: let’s assume that some person plays fantasy college football in a league with 0.5ppr scoring, everything else standard. If you played Kokosioulis, you would’ve wound up with 62.5 points. SIXTY TWO AND A HALF. Through three weeks of my fantasy football league, the leader in points for is at 345.58. That’s with 9 players every week for three weeks. 62.5 would make up 18% of that total. That is batshit fucking crazy. Good game, Fotis.
So let’s see, we’ve been over work and football. What am I forgetting? Uh, let me check my notes real quick…
Ah. Ok.
Music:
Concorde – Black Country, New Road
Just listen to this one. Do me a favor and listen to it. All the way through. I feel as if I would only be taking away from the overwhelming beauty of this track by trying to describe it, so just listen to it. Okay?
“Score first play you the type to need a fifth and goal”. Sliding breezily through four different beats, Detroit rapper/scammer/lean consumer Babytron provides exactly what I want from music. It’s funny, hard, and exponentially better the louder you play it. Can’t wait for Bin Reaper 3.
TV:
Chernobyl
If you’re my boss or my mom, please stop reading now.
Last weekend, I smoked a bowl and decided it was time to watch something new. I had just finished Tokyo Vice, wasn’t in the mood for Curb Your Enthusiasm, and was absolutely not going to watch any more movies off “Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares”. I had added Chernobyl to my list after seeing some tweets lauding over it. Fuck it, I’ll watch the first episode. By the 30-minute mark, I was convinced I was having a heart attack. This show does not let you off the hook. There are five hour-long episodes, and you will be stressed out for every second of each of them. The beauty of the show comes in its lenses – of course, you see the inner machinations of the plant during the disaster, but you also see the reach of the Soviet state, the bowing of common sense for political gain, and the incredible disasters that were averted. I would suggest watching it sober.
Until next time.
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