Long time no see. Hope things are going well.

It’s Harry.

I’m wrapping up my final semester of college. Feels surreal to type that out. I’ve been at Ohio University for 5 years. That’s a long fucking time man. Seeing my ID picture always serves to remind me just how far I’ve come since then. I entered college in a terrible mental place. I was on Zoloft, still eating meat and smoking cigarettes, and weighed about 70 more pounds than I do now. It’s funny that weight gain is such a negative thing. It seems like humans should want to be as massive as possible. Maybe if it was all brain weight. Brain food but it’s like brain pre-workout. Mark that one down in the invention notebook. In a few months I will be graduating with a Bachelor’s of Arts in English Literature and Writing, alongside a minor in Philosophy. Sounds so academic. This semester (so far!) has been the most organized period of my entire life. I have fucking fake post-it notes on my desktop, man! Fake post-it notes! Who am I? I woke up the other day and made my bed. What the hell is going on? Here’s hoping I can sustain it for the rest of the year.

Post-it notes in question

I’ve been severely lacking in the art/creation department. I think one song has been plucked from my head and placed into Garageband, and upon listening to it the morning after, it has been firmly classified as mid. I haven’t painted in god1 knows how long. I doodle in class sometimes, but that’s the extent of my artistic endeavors recently. Whatever. It has a way of just spewing out of you randomly. I’ll go months without so much as typing a single non-academic sentence and then one day just start composing2 a post like this. That’s just the way she goes. I have been listening to lots of music, however. More on that at the end.

Work is work. Just switched up my schedule, so now I’m spending 8-4 on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the office. It’s fine. I’m making money, right? Someone got mad at me the other day because they wanted to maintain an illegal rental3 . They asked what would happen if they refused to get a permit. I informed them that a Notice of Violation would arrive in the mail and that the case would eventually be referred to the City Prosecutor. They then asked how I would ever know that they were renting the property without a permit. On a phone call informing me that they intended to rent the property without a permit. Good stuff. I’ve been coming up with work-adjacent tasks to keep me occupied when I don’t have a project to focus on. Recently this has materialized in the form of reading Ohio Appeals Court rulings. Here’s a hint for all of you aspiring court decision enjoyers: look up the phrase “business invitee”. This is a bit of legal jargon in Ohio code referring to customers of establishments, and is most often utilized in cases regarding falls at restaurants or boneless chicken wings containing bones4 . I stumbled upon an incredible tale the other day. Woman attends a hockey game at the University of Miami (OH). Woman exits the stands upon completion of the game. Woman trips on a step. Woman falls through opening in rink onto the ice directly into the path of the Zamboni which then proceeds to run her over. She suffered some bruising and a non-serious shoulder injury, but she has now been blessed with an experience that most can only dream of. I think the court ruled partially against her. Don’t remember. I took what I needed from that one.

Personal life is unremarkable. Making some new friends in my classes. That is to say, I am just now speaking to classmates that I have been seeing in my courses for the last 3 years. Better late than never, I suppose. Went out last night and drank too much beer at the Smiling Skull Saloon. A friend of a friend drank even more than too much beer and went on the stage and performed a song after the band finished their set. Honestly inspirational. After parting ways with her and about half of the party we came out with, I stumbled my way over to Tony’s and had even more beer. Some woman had an emotional support dog on the back patio and it was cowering under any table it could find. At one point she came over and started making fun of our group. I drank my emotional support Pabst5 to cope.

I have yet to find the love of my life, unfortunately. My strategy of liking beautiful women’s Instagram stories and not approaching them in bars appears to be in need of some major retooling. I guess that’s all I have to say in that regard. Moving on.

Reading Pride and Prejudice for one of my classes. Mr. Collins is my favorite guy ever. I wish he was my cousin. This novel has been a blast to read, which surprised the hell out of me. My prior experience with Jane Austen was limited to Persuasion which I enjoyed but didn’t exactly find funny. I am constantly laughing out loud while reading Pride and Prejudice. That weird dry British humor is so perfect, especially when you go into the book expecting poshness and stuffy characters. If you’re one of the apparently 10 people in the world who haven’t read this book nor seen the film, I would highly recommend that you do so.

That seems like a nice tie-in for my cute little media round-up, so here you are:

SONGS:

Chanel Beads – ef

Indie reimagining of the Arthur theme song. At least, that’s the thought that got me to listen past the first 10 seconds when this came on one of my Spotify artist radios last week. Since then, I’ve played this song about a thousand times. I woke up the other day with it broadcasting vividly in my brain. Listen to this, and if you like it, check out their 2019 song Male Friendship. You won’t be disappointed.

Tek lintowe, Mimics gate, Joeyy – Duracell Stay Charged Up

Wow. This song is beautiful and silly and absurd and a masterpiece. I can’t put my finger on what makes it so addictive, but Tek lintowe has successfully infiltrated some hidden chunk of my brain with this one. Thanks to Isaac for sending it to me.

TV:

The Wire

Look. There’s a reason this show appears on every “Best TV Shows of All Time” list on the internet. I cannot sing its praises loud enough. Five seasons, each with different central themes, all the while maintaining the same core characters. If you like cop shows, watch this. If you like political dramas, watch this. If you like guns and shooting and epic cool guy fighting, watch this. I am on my second go-round with this show and fuck man it is just so good. You also kinda see Lance Reddick’s dick at one point. Pretty neat.

Inside the NBA Funny Moments Videos

Ernie, Chuck, Shaq, and Kenny “The Jet” Smith. There is no sports show on television that compares to Inside the NBA. A basic knowledge of professional basketball helps but is by no means necessary to enjoy this masterclass in sports entertainment. Seriously, there’s a series of like 10 videos documenting the funniest moments. Here’s one of my favorite clips.

Until next time.

Footnotes:

  1. Lowercase g an editorial choice to demonstrate lack of respect for heavenly beings
  2. Word chosen to justify five figure debt for an English degree
  3. It’s technically illegal, ok? I don’t care but some people do. I swear I’m not a bootlicker I swear!!!
  4. Berkheimer v. REKM, L.L.C., 2023-Ohio-116
  5. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Alcoholic beverage of choice for losers and guys in bands.