Have you ever been driving down an Ohio highway and seen one of the big LED signs that says something like:

“YOU WON’T BE SAYING LOL WHEN YOU CRASH YOUR CAR WHILE TEXTING”?

 Did you ever wonder how they came up with the ideas for those signs, or, if you’re like me, wonder how that was the best they could do? Well, it turns out that they take submissions from the public. Any person who happens to come across the contact form can take their best shot at being featured on the big screen. Naturally, I wondered if these submissions were public records – they’re being submitted to the Ohio Department of Transportation, after all. After a quick records request for all submissions made in the past year, I am pleased to announce that they are, and they are everything I hoped they would be. Here are a few that aren’t likely to appear on Ohio’s freeways anytime soon.

Karen H. from Louisville

EVERYONE CAN WAIT

FOR YOU NOT WAKE

FOR YOU

Neil B. from Blue Ash

STAY OUT OF A

PICKLE DON’T

DINK AND DRIVE

Chad E. from Greenville

TO SAVE CASH KEEP

FOOT UNDER LOCK N

KEY

Malek L. from Cincinnati

FOR MAY,

MAY YOU

SLOW DOWN?

Raj A. from Reynoldsburg

HOW TO AVOID

INCIDENT IN OHIO,

I HAVE AN IDEA

Helen L. from Austin

CHOOSE TO TEXT IT

AND HELL MAYBE

YOUR NEXT EXIT

Kyle N. from Cincinnati

YOUR ARE NOT

A 4 LEAF CLOVER

SO DRIVE SOBER

Debbie H. from Macedonia

DON’T DRIVE SMASH

PUMPKIN

Akemi M. from Chesapeake, VA

DON’T BECOME

BUMPER KETCHUP

WEAR A SEATBELT

The rest of the submissions were some variant on “Buckeyes don’t drive drunk” or authored by Paul S., who sent in about 30 different messages preaching the importance of using the left lane only to pass. Send me an email at harryrosenbergads@gmail.com if you want to read them for yourself. I have made an additional request for every submission ODOT has on record, not just those made in the past year, but at the time of writing it has not been fulfilled. This post will be updated with more treasures of the human imagination as soon as they become available. Thanks for reading.